This is the first chapter of the novel, Billy. As the title says it is a very long post. You might want to wait until you have a few minutes before starting to read it. Let me know what you think in the comments below.
Billy
VC Angell
Chapter One
“I’ll get Wally to help you,” Mr. Andersen called toward the storeroom, “Wally, grab that half case and the brand-new case of dynamite and bring them out here.”
“Thanks, Mr. Andersen.” Billy Johnson picked up the sack of blasting caps and fuse. He watched as Mr. Andersen – peering over the top of his glasses – entered the purchases into his big black account book. Andersen’s Hardware was one-stop shopping for things to make life in Northern Minnesota easier. The store had the oily smell of new barbed wire and new tools blended with the electrical smell of Bakelite from the wiring supplies.
Wally stuck his head out of the storeroom, “Dad, where is that second box of dynamite?”
Mr. Andersen stopped writing, straightened up, looked up at the punched tin ceiling for a moment, then said, “Back of that new shipment of nails. Remember, we didn’t have time to move them yesterday.”
Wally’s head disappeared. He and Billy had swapped sandwiches from their lunch pail in grade school, drank out of the same big brown beer bottles in high school in the pits, and swapped stories about girls. A year after graduation, they swapped dreams about getting married and their fear of the dreaded draft.
Wally reappeared carrying two boxes, “I put the new box on the bottom. The old stuff looked like it might be trying to sweat, so I’d use it first.” They walked together toward the front door. Billy was just a tad taller than Wally. His hair was blonde, and Wally’s was light brown.
Mr. Andersen nodded as they passed. He was a bit older than his dad, but his hair was thinning on top and turning gray along the sides. Billy could remember being curious about the big black account book with all those tiny lines until Mr. Andersen showed him what the lines and numbers meant. He was just in first grade but could read all the round, smooth letters and numbers Mr. Andersen had entered. When he had to practice penmanship in school, he used to try to write just like Mr. Andersen.
* * *
As they reached the ’51 black Chevy pickup, Billy said, “Put the dynamite in the back. Dad would kill me if I carried the caps and the dynamite together.” He tossed the bag of fuse and blasting caps onto the front seat.
“Yeah, sure, he’s right to be careful.” Wally carefully placed the boxes right behind the cab, ” Gotta be with this stuff, “Are you going to the pits Friday?” Wally leaned on the pickup. The pits were any of several abandoned gravel pits used for everything from a make-out spot to a rifle range to a place to get drunk or just chat.
“I don’t think so. Diana wants to go to a movie. Want to go double with Sandi?”
“Yeah, sure, Sandi would like that. She hates all that drinking at the pits. Does Diana want you to get married?”
Billy shrugged.
“Sandi is after me to get married, and dad wants me to go to college. I don’t know what to do. Then there’s the draft.”
Billy looked at his friend and shook his head again, “Don’t, I don’t know it. I hate the draft, but we gotta do our duty. I kinda think your dad’s right too. It will take a college education to even run a hardware store in a few years. Even my dad would like to see me get some college, but we don’t have the money.”
“Won’t all this land you’re clearing help?”
“Some, but in all, it will add only about thirty acres. This fifteen we’re blowing stumps on now won’t get planted this year. Farms are getting bigger every year. We need to add another hundred and sixty to grow our income. We’ve got the land, just not the time,” Billy fished in his jeans pocket for the keys to the truck.
“I guess I had better get back to work. Dad has me unpacking the latest shipment we got and putting the stuff on the shelves. See you at the Apco.” The Apco was a service station and a gathering spot for the boys
“You betcha,” Billy watched for a second as Wally went back inside and got into the old black pickup. He started the engine and waited for the radio to warm up. They were playing one of his favorite songs, Oh! My Papa, by Eddie Fisher. He drove off singing along with the radio.
***
The rest of the day passed quickly. Billy worked alongside his father. The rich smell of wet spring earth and the scent of the dynamite were the smells of the day. Late in the day, they sat together in the pickup, neither speaking, looking across the field where they had worked. Mr. Johnson finally moved, “It was a good day’s work. Let’s go home. Make sure there aren’t any blasting caps left in the back of the truck.”
“Sure, Pop.” Billy looked through the truck’s bed one more time to be sure he had not missed any earlier and climbed into the passenger side of the pickup.
Mr. Johnson turned down the radio and asked, “Are you going out tonight?”
“Just down to the Apco.”
“I don’t see what you see in the gas station.”
“It’s ’cause Dick’s dad owns it. With his father sick, Dick has to run it, so he can’t go out with us. At least we can all get together there.”
“You be careful. That’s a wild crew, particularly Larry. They got a bad reputation. I don’t want Sheriff Click calling me about you. Remember, you must protect the family’s name.” Mr. Johnson didn’t look over at his son but held out a pack of cigarettes to him.”
“No thanks.”
Mr. Johnson shook the pack, so several cigarettes came partway out, and then he took one using just his lips.
Billy watched as his father slipped the pack back into his overalls, took a wooden match from another pocket, and lit it with his thumbnail.
Mr. Johnson lit the cigarette, shook the match out, and said, “Your mother, if she were still here, would be horrified if you got in trouble. Are you going to take Diana?”
“No, not tonight. I talked to Wally, and we’ll double on a movie Friday.”
“You seem to really like her.”
“I do, dad. I’ve never met anybody like Diana.”
“You know people will talk if you two decide to get married.”
Billy nodded as his father glanced at him.
“How do her folks feel about you two?”
“They haven’t said anything bad.”
“People will get down on you if you marry an Indian.”
“I know, dad, but I don’t know if that’s what we’re going to do.” Billy had wondered if it wasn’t just what his father said that kept them from talking about marriage. Diana seemed as eager as he felt to be together. Time went so fast when Billy was with her. Her smile and dark eyes were in his dreams each morning before he woke. It had never been that way with Ellen, Pat, or any other girls he had dated.
“Remember that marriage is forever. Be sure before you do it.”
“Like with you and mother.”
“Better than that.”
Billy frowned and looked at his father, but Mr. Johnson stared ahead down the road.
***
After supper, Billy drove his beat-up ’41 Ford Coupe to the Apco. There wasn’t much for a mile in either direction, but it was the first or last gas station on the only road heading directly to Duluth. Dick’s father owned the station, had pneumonia during the winter, and wasn’t back on his feet. Dick’s mother had taken care of the station during the day. In the evenings, until they closed, Dick worked alone pumping gas and washing windshields. Dick wasn’t a bad mechanic, but he would never be as good as his father. He told his friends he wanted to go to college and get clean hands, not hands permanently stained by grease and oil.
The station was shaped like the letter L. The front had two large garage doors. Along the side, there was a tiny narrow office and the restrooms. The office smelled of grease, gas, and the mothball-like odor of the white disinfectant blocks used in the toilets. The office held a tiny stove, a desk, some old magazines, a candy bar machine, a pop machine, and assorted cards full of combs, fishing lures, and other things to get an extra dime or quarter from the traveler. Behind one of the cards was a 1951 calendar several years out of date, but things never changed fast in Poplar.
Billy hadn’t arrived yet, but Wally, Tom, Dick, and Larry were gathered around Dick’s car in the garage. All showed their Scandinavian heritage with their blue eyes and blonde or light brown hair. They watched as Dick put the car’s radio back in the dash. His slight frame and shortness made the job easier. The radio had quit working several weeks before, and Dick had taken it out and given it to Elmer Sandstrom to get it fixed.
“How do you like standing on your head,” Larry teased.
“Don’t be a dink. Hand me that, Phillips,” Dick held out his hand.
Wally picked up the screwdriver and put it in Dick’s hand, “Do you think it will last longer this time?”
From under the dash, there was a grunt.
“Is that a yes or a no?” Tom asked and then laughed.
“Shut up. How would you like to stand on your head for a while?” Dick said as he looked out from under the dash for a moment.
Wally said, “That’s kinda a serious question. You’ve had that radio fixed three times in the last four months.”
“Damn, if I know. Elmer said that he thinks it was just a bad batch of tubes. Every time it has been a different tube that went,” Dick said, still working under the dash.
Wally asked, “What are you doing this weekend?”
“The pits,” Tom said.
“Yeah, the pits,” Larry said.
From under the dash, “Me too.”
Larry asked, “Why do you suppose Billy keeps going with that Indian? I’ve never seen them at the pits.”
Tom and Dick just shrugged.
“Do you think she is putting out for him? They say once you have had squaw juice, normal women don’t interest you,” Larry said
“Next, you will be trying to tell us the squaws are built differently,” Tom said.
“Hey, look who’s just driving up. It’s Billy,” Wally said.
After everybody greeted Billy, Tom said, “We were just talking about the pits. Are you going this weekend?”
“Nope, Wally and I are taking the girls to the movies. Do you want to join us?” Billy asked.
“Nah,” Dick said as he slipped out from under the dash and out of the car, “Let me put the battery cable back on, and we’ll see if this works.” Dick slipped the cable back over the battery post and tightened the connection with a few quick turns of the ratchet wrench. He fished the keys out of his pants pocket, put them in the ignition, and then turned on the radio.
“Hey, the dial lights up,” Larry said in mock seriousness.
Everybody laughed.
“Try WCCO,” Billy said.
“Nah, that’s radio for your old man. I’ll get WDGY,” Dick said.
“Yeah, Weegie always got the best music. I like the new song by Georgia Gibbs, Dance with Me Henry,” Larry put his hands up and did a dance. He moved gracefully for someone so overweight.
“What’s wrong with you, Tom? You have sure been quiet,” Wally said.
“I’ve got a cold and don’t feel good,”
“How about that? You are the only one of us with a drug store, and you have a cold,” Larry danced around Tom as he teased him.
“Cut it out. It ain’t fair. Besides, is that why you’re so fat? Because you work in the grocery store?” Tom was about the same height as Larry, just under six feet, but many pounds lighter. He showed no fear as he grabbed Larry’s arm.
“Knock it off, you two,” Dick said as he sat down in the driver’s seat, “I don’t want you two messing up something in here. Dad would kill me if you broke something.”
Larry scowled at Tom and pulled his arm away.
Dick carefully tuned the radio until the car filled with music.
It took a moment for Billy to concentrate on the music. It was an old song by Les Paul and Mary Ford, Vaya con Dios.
“It seems to work. What now?” Larry asked.
“I’ve got to stay and keep the station open,” Dick said.
“Sorry, but I think I’ll head for home early. It’s been a long day,” Billy said.
“Still clearing fields?” Tom asked.
“Yeah, sure, but we got to stop and get to planting soon,” Billy said.
“I’m glad I’m just stocking shelves and sweeping. That’s not hard work,” Larry said.
“None of us work as hard as you do from spring until fall, Billy,” Dick said, shutting off the radio, getting out of the seat, and closing the door.
“I think I’ll go too,” Wally said.
***
Billy picked up Diana on Friday evening at her home. He chatted with Mr. Spears about fishing until Diana came downstairs. Billy never tired of looking at Diana. She was short, just five-two, with dark shoulder-length hair and dark eyes. Diana had a floral dress that showed off her narrow waist and made her tiny breasts appear larger. She carried a light spring coat on one arm.
“Diana, please be home no later than 10:30,” Mrs. Spears said.
“I will, Mom. We’re going to a movie and maybe have root beer at the drive-in afterward,” Diana said.
Billy helped Diana with her coat, and they said goodbye to her family.
“Dad and Mom really like you,” Diana said as Billy opened the pickup door for him. She got in and slid across the seat to open his door.
“I like them too.” Diana snuggled close to Billy as he started the pickup. He loved the feel of her warm body against his and the wonderful smell she always seemed to have. Billy said, “But I like you even better.”
Diana squeezed his arm, “I know.”
They drove over to Wally’s house, left Billy’s car there, and took Wally’s larger one. Diana and Sandi talked about an upcoming spring dance over at Willow City.
Wally winked at Billy, “I suppose that means we have to take you two.”
“It sure does,” Sandi said.
Wally laughed then asked, “Is this a formal thing? Do I have to get a special suit or something?”
“Nah, your blue suit will do just fine,” Sandi said.
“He’ll need a new one then,” Billy teased, “He can’t fit it anymore.”
They all laughed.
Sandi asked, “Did you hear Dick got his draft notice today?”
Billy looked at Diana and said, “No, when is he supposed to go?”
“I don’t know. I know it’s soon,” Sandi said.
“I don’t understand why they have the draft anymore. The Korean thing has ended,” Diana said.
“It’s just an armistice. It could heat up anytime, and then there’s the Russians,” Wally said.
“I don’t think Dick’s mother can handle the gas station alone. It is going to be tough for them. It probably means it won’t be long before you and I get our notices,” Wally said, looking at Billy for some sort of help.
“Let’s just forget that and go enjoy the movie,” Sandi said
***
After the movie, they stopped at the drive-in and had fries and soda. Billy drove Diana home, and they parked outside her house. It was just after 10 o’clock, so Diana didn’t have to go in immediately.
Billy kissed her, and as they parted, she smiled at him, “I love you, Billy.”
“Me too. You’re something very special,” Billy said. He stroked her cheek with the tips of his fingers. She caught his hand and kissed his fingers. Billy pulled her close once more and kissed her. He could taste her lipstick and feel the warmth of her body against his. They kissed again and again. Diana made tiny bird-like sounds. Billy slipped his hand under her skirt.
At first, she let him caress her thigh, then she pushed his hand away, “No, we must wait. It has to be special.”
Billy shook his head and smiled, “I know, but it is so hard to wait. I want you so bad it hurts. I don’t care what my father thinks. I want to marry you.”
“It will happen after we’re married. You’ll be the first man.”
“And you’ll be the first woman.”
“I wish we could get married now.”
“I know, but Dad says the farm can’t support a family yet. And, surely, we’d have a family soon.”
Diana laughed, “I know how hard you two are working clearing another field. It is hard to wait for something you want so much. How about coming in for some of dad’s homemade root beer?”
“Sure, it’ll keep us out of trouble.” Billy got out and walked around the pickup to open Diana’s door. He surprised her by kissing her as she got out of the pickup.
Inside, Mrs. Spears had them sit at the kitchen table while she poured the root beer.
Mr. Spears came up from downstairs, “Hi Billy. How was the show?”
“Great,” Billy said.
“I was downstairs working on my new costume for the Pow-wow at the end of the month. Do you want to come and see it?” Mr. Spears asked.
“Sure do,” Billy got up, touched Diana’s arm, and followed her father downstairs.
Mrs. Spears called after them, “Not too long, Dad. He’s got root beer here to finish.”
“We won’t be long,” Mr. Spears said.
On a table made of a door and two sawhorses was part of Mr. Spears’s costume. A traditional costume of deerskin tanned to a deep dark brown with quill and beadwork. None of the feathers Mr. Spears needed were on the table, only the shirt he was working on. Some dancers were switching to more modern fabrics. Still, Billy knew Mr. Spears believed in using as much natural material as possible. The men’s dancing had scared him when he was little when his father had taken him to a Pow-wow. His favorite dance was the Jingle Dress Dance, although he liked to watch Diana’s mother do the Shawl Dance. Diana had a Jingle Dress in red with all silver-colored bells.
“I want the quills to come down to here,” Mr. Spears lifted the shirt and pointed to the porcupine quills. His ponytail swung as he lifted the shirt.
Billy looked closely. The quills crossed the shirt in two horizontal lines. Mr. Spears had sewn in two beads between each quill, one bright red and one mustard yellow. It seemed to Billy he could almost hear the drum talking.
Mr. Spears looked at him and smiled, “I think we might have to adopt you and get you into dancing too. Come on, let’s go finish our root beer.”
A half-hour later, Billy started to leave. Mr. Spears said, “We’ll stay out here in the kitchen so you kids can say good-by like we used to,” and winked at his wife, who blushed.
Diana walked Billy to the front door. Billy hugged her as tightly as he dared without hurting her and kissed her before saying, “It makes it harder to wait being trusted like this by your folks.”
“Your father really trusts us. Sometimes I think we should just do something so they wouldn’t be that way.”
“I’m willing any time you are,” Billy smiled at her.
“You wouldn’t say that if you knew the effect you have on me every time we kiss. Sometimes just when we are close.”
Billy pulled her close again and just held her close, feeling the press of her soft body against him. He knew she must feel the effect she was having on him.
Diana pushed him away, “It’s time to say good night. I don’t want to, but I know we should.” Billy kissed the tips of his fingers, touched them to her lips, smiled, and went out the door.
When Billy got home, his father sat at the kitchen table listening to a baseball game on the radio, “Would you like some coffee, Billy?”
“No thanks. How’s the game?”
“Not much of a game. The score is seven to nothing, but it’s early in the season,” Mr. Johnson got up and went over to the radio and turned it off.
Billy could see the glow of its tubes die from where he was standing. It was a big old console radio. Billy had replaced one of its tubes the month before. It had made him wonder if he shouldn’t think about doing radio repair as a sideline. It seemed to come easy to him.
“How is Diana?”
“Fine.”
“Are you two still thinking about getting married?”
“Yeah, sure.”
Mr. Johnson pointed to the table, “Sit down.”
Billy sat down.
“I want you to think hard about marrying so young. Diana is a fine girl and will be a good wife and mother, but you are both young.”
“You and mom were too when you got married,” Billy looked at his father.
Mr. Johnson returned to the table and sat down, “That’s why I am asking you to think before you get married. People change. They might not get along.”
Billy frowned, “I don’t understand. You and mom always got along good.”
“You were only eight when she died, so you never saw anything of it. With you talking about marriage, it is time you knew.” Billy’s father sighed before continuing, “Your mother and I married too early. Nothing could keep us apart, but we hadn’t finished growing up. When she didn’t want to live on the farm anymore, there was a war going on, and as a farmer, I didn’t have to go. Margie grew to hate the farm, but she didn’t say much because it kept me out of the war, and she didn’t want to hurt her family’s name.”
“Mom sure seemed to like the farm.”
“We didn’t want you to know. Kids should grow up without worries, and you’d have worried if you had known. I couldn’t give up the farm. It was your grandpa’s. We had reached a dead end but stayed together not to hurt either family’s name. That’s why I want you to be sure about Diana before you two get married.”
Billy looked at his father, “I can’t believe it. Everything seemed so good.”
“It wasn’t,” Billy’s father did not elaborate.
Billy shook his head slowly. He didn’t look up at his father but stared at a hole in the frayed tablecloth.
***
The evening after the big dance Tom, Dick, Wally, and Larry got together at the gas station, the Apco.
“That was a great dance last night,” Tom said.
“Yeah, you were too drunk to dance,” Larry said.
“You drank as much as I did,” Tom said.
“You looked like my mother doing that dance,” Wally teased.
“So what? It was fun,” Larry said.
“Why isn’t Billy here?” Tom asked.
“Don’t know,” Wally said.
“Yeah, but he was there last night with that squaw of his,” Larry said.
“So what,” Tom said.
“I bet she’s putting out for him, and that’s why he’s with her all the time,” Larry said.
“Geez, is that all you think about. Billy’s never said anything like that about her,” Wally said.
“Would you if your girlfriend was putting out for you?” Larry asked.
Wally shrugged and shook his head no.
***
When the time came, Billy, Wally, and Larry were at the train station to see Dick off to the Army.
“The letter says I get sworn in in the Cities, and then I’ll go on to Fort Leonard Wood in Missouri,” Dick said.
“Did your mother find somebody to fill in for you?” Billy asked.
“Sort of, he’s older than she’d like, and he can’t work as much as she’d like, and it’ll be an expense she didn’t have before. I worked for cheap. Just food and rent,” Dick said.
Both Billy and Wally laughed. It wasn’t long before the train pulled into the station, and they watched their friend leave.
“I don’t think it’ll be long for us either,” Wally said.
“It’s just a fact of life. Billy said that there’s nothing we can do about it, and we owe it to our country to serve,” Billy said.
***
It was just a month later when Billy got his draft notice. Billy was glad they cleared that last bit of acreage, but his father probably couldn’t do that much the following year. The workload is too great. However, it did mean there’d be a bit more income, and Billy only had to serve two years. He and Diana were resigned to spending the two years apart.
***
Billy was serving in Germany less than a year later when he got a letter from his dad. It read,
“Dear son,
I’ve got some bad news for you. It’s hard to tell you, but Larry raped Diana last weekend and beat her bad. They don’t know if she’s going to survive. He is in jail. I talked to Mr. Spears on the phone, and all we can do is hope Diana will survive…”
The letter went on, but Billy was so angry and crying too hard to be able to finish it. His army buddies gathered around and asked him what happened, but he couldn’t talk. Billy just handed the letter to one of them. He read the first part of the letter and told the others. One of them said, “Jesus fucking Christ! I hope they hang the bastard by his balls.”
***
Diana did survive, but Billy had to wait to see her until he finished his tour and was discharged from the Army a year and a half later. The first place he went when he got home was over to the Spears’ house.
Mrs. Spears met him at the door. She looked to Billy, many years older than when he had left for the Army. What had happened to Diana clearly had taken its toll, “Billy, come in and sit down. We must talk before you see Diana.” Mrs. Spears led him into the living room and motioned him to sit down before beginning, “I’m sorry Mr. Spears is not here, but he had a commitment at church. Diana is not as you remember her. She suffered brain damage either from the beating or loss of blood. The doctors were never sure. She may not remember you. She is like a child and needs the care others can give her.” Mrs. Spears paused, looking at Billy.
“I will always love her,” Billy said, hoping it was not as bad as Mrs. Spears told him.
“I don’t doubt you will, but Billy, she will never be the same as the girl you left when you went in the service,” Mrs. Spears said, seeing the start of tears in Billy’s eyes.
“I still love her,” Billy defiantly said.
Mrs. Spears stood up, extended her hand to Billy, and led him to Diana’s bedroom. Diana was sitting in a floral wingback chair holding a doll. She was wearing a jumper Billy remembered from high school. He could see her face was disfigured and scarred. She looked up at Billy and smiled after a moment’s hesitation.
Billy hoped that meant she still cared, but she asked, “Who are you?”
Billy started to cry. Diana frowned and held her doll to him, “Here, don’t cry.”
Billy fled the room.
