Joy’s mother’s efforts to find dates were all with women I considered too old for me. As was the tradition in Joy’s community, a viewing was held at her home. Everything was removed from the living room. The funeral director provided a platform to hold the coffin. Joy was holding our baby in her arms. I could see the shock on the people’s faces who came to the front door and didn’t expect to see such a sight. There was a wake the night before the funeral. I remembered a woman about my age who stood out because she was young. I asked Joy’s mother about her. The young woman had dated one of Joy’s brothers, so my mother-in-law knew how to contact her.
It turned out that she, Nancy, was a nurse at Lankenau Hospital. Lankenau is a teaching hospital. Nancy worked in one of the OB-GYN wards and also worked as a nursing instructor. I have often wondered why she accepted a date from me. We had several dinner dates at various restaurants. She was interested in the Valley Forge Research Center, where I worked. We enjoyed each other’s company. Then it happened!
At the end of one evening, I kissed her. I froze in panic. I couldn’t get the thought out of my mind that my love for Joy had killed her. I knew it wasn’t logical, but I thought I might do the same to any woman I loved. That evening I left with very mixed feelings. I thought I might have hurt Nancy with my unexpected reaction to the kiss. The next day, I knew I had to tell Nancy what had happened. She was very understanding. We became friends without benefits. Nancy helped me accept that I had nothing to do with Joy’s death. It was as the autopsy showed a congenital defect in a major blood vessel within the brain. It could have happened anytime when her blood pressure rose. It made me feel better that it had happened in the hospital where she could get every bit of possible medical care.
Nancy was and is responsible for my 53 years of marriage to my wife, Mary.
