I received an interesting question about details in the story. How much detail should I include about weather, clothing, physical appearance, etc.? I paraphrased the question because it was rather long.
Weather – unless the weather is going to be important to the story, such as a blizzard or hurricane, keep your weather descriptions short. Let’s say your character is going to attend a wedding. You might say “it was a typical late July day, hot and humid.” At the wedding, you can then include a detail such as sweating. Everyone has felt sweat running down their body under clothing that no one can see, making them uncomfortable. This is an excellent detail because everyone has experienced it. It lets your reader feel the discomfort of your character without needing a long description.
Clothing – again, you can keep it short. You might write, “Bill was wearing the typical three-piece business suit.” Sometimes in a story, a character may not be appropriately dressed. There you will need a little more detail. For instance, Judy attends a summer party wearing shorts and a simple blouse while everyone else is dressed in fancy summer dresses and wearing hats as you’d see at the Kentucky Derby. This could’ve happened because a rival gave her the wrong information about the party or she didn’t know the appropriate dress for a summer garden party as an outsider.
Physical appearance – again, keep it short unless it’s essential to the story. Your character is male, and he looks at a female. You have to ask again how vital is that female character to your story. If she’s not essential, you might write, “She was wearing a light summer dress.” If she is vital to the story and not a love interest, you could describe the dress in more detail and possibly one more detail, so the reader will remember her. If she is a potential love interest for the man, he might notice how well her figure is displayed in that summer dress. The man is not likely looking at the dress in a way that would allow him to describe its color or design. He notices her figure the dress is displaying.
Details allow your reader to experience the story. Bill looked at the wide white expanse of winter, only broken by blood surrounding her body in the snow.
