I wonder if you have heard Johnny Cash’s cover of the song Hurt? I believe it was one of the last songs that Cash released before he died. Here is the official video on YouTube – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AHCfZTRGiI. The song is all about regret from an old man, Cash’s, point of view. It is immensely powerful. The cutting in of scenes from Cash’s past and the lyrics make it nearly impossible not to react with tears. It is a brilliantly produced video.
I wondered how others reacted to the video. Every reaction closely followed mine. I began to realize that is because everyone knows there’s regret at the end of life. Everybody knows? Is it just a trope? Marion Webster defines a trope as “a word, phrase, or image used…to create an artistic effect.” I am an old man. I know that because the life insurance companies will no longer sell me a policy since their statistics say I’ll be dead soon. Life insurance companies won’t bet against a sure thing.
The more I thought about it, the more I realized I don’t really have personal regrets. My regrets are for others. Roger, the young soldier, who never got to return home to Wisconsin and marry the girl he talked about. Closer to home, my first wife and our baby daughter both who never got to live the life seemingly promised by the world. I feel that friend and a family were taken too soon to understand and enjoy life. Roger was a victim of war. I firmly believe you survive a war because of pure dumb luck, not training. My wife had a genetic defect that doomed her from birth unknown to anyone. It caused her death and the baby’s death.
I celebrate these lives. Roger grew up in a farming community. He experienced the love of another person before duty to the country called. I’m sure he would say his life was filled with much more pleasure than anything else. The nurses told me that since it was my wife’s first child, the birth process would take a long time. They suggested that I go to work and they would call me when something happened. The last thing I ever got to say to her while she was still alive was, “I love you.” She and I both got to experience love. We both looked forward to the birth of our baby. I believe she would agree we both had everything we could ask for at that moment in time. I only regret is Roger and my wife and daughter never got to experience the full life I have.
