Before I discuss how many details to bring into a scene of intimacy, I must confess. One of the first writing jobs that I got paid for was writing short “erotic” fiction. It was pre-Internet days, so erotica in any form was much harder to come by than today. I came to believe that it was probably a mob-run publishing house. The payment was always in the form of cash, but after the first story was published, I had to hand-deliver subsequent stories. I lived in the Philadelphia area then, so hand-delivering the stories to New York City wasn’t difficult. The “publishing house” was on a second-floor walk-up. I was always paid by cash by the receptionist after he looked at what I had written. There was another door in the office that I assume led back to another office. I never saw it was through that door. The “receptionist” always read the story, and if the couple wasn’t obviously going to engage in sex by the second paragraph, the story was rejected. Confession over.
Here are my ideas about how much detail you should bring into a scene of intimacy. I start by asking myself how vital to the story are details? We know from research that married couples engage in sex regularly unless there is a problem. It may be necessary for the reader to understand that the couple they are reading about is happily married with a good sexual relationship. The sex in their relationship can be just alluded to without any detail. I usually prefer something like this, “Afterwards, Joe said, I’ll never get enough of you, but we need to be practical and wash up and truly go to bed.”
If it is the first time a couple is intimate, what you want the scene to indicate dictates what details you feel are necessary. If the man quickly satisfies himself without thought of his partner, the reader will probably conclude there will be problems in this relationship. On the other hand, if the man takes his time and truly tries to satisfy his partner first, you know at least he has feelings for the woman. How you portray the woman’s reaction to this will tell the reader about her feelings towards the relationship. If she lets the man know she appreciates his effort, that will tell the reader one thing about the relationship. On the other hand, if she says, “Now that that’s over, let’s wash up.” The reader will know she’s not investing much emotionally in intimacy with that man.
If you are writing erotica, details are of extreme importance. You want enough detail so the reader can picture what is happening in their mind. Let’s see what Joe sees again. “Joe could see the line left in Sue’s skin by the bra after he took it off.” It is often not necessary to describe something in great detail. Let’s see what Sue sees again. “Sue could see she had turned him on.” Every mature reader will understand what Sue is seeing.
Like all things about details, think about what you are trying to tell the reader and what is necessary to do that. Often, suggesting just enough to feed the readers’ imagination is what you need. There is a saying I have heard many times in regards to arousing a male sexually, “It’s what you can almost see that’s more exciting than what you can see.”
