Everyone who has picked up a book about writing or attended a workshop will hear the phrase “show don’t tell.” Some time ago, I wrote a novella titled Love and Other Disasters. I never attempted to market it. When moving stuff to a new computer, I found bits and pieces of it. As I read a bit of it, I remembered a question: How much do you show? There are two parts to that question as related to the novella. People falling in love will be physically intimate. The second question was how much to show about a murder when a husband finds his wife and her lover together? I think I will always debate the first question about sex. I decided that you only need enough detail to make the scene realistic enough to convey whatever point you want.
Here is an example of what I mean. “Jack and Jane were lying in bed together. Jack asked as he traced her nipple with his finger, “What are we doing tomorrow?” Those two sentences tell you that Jack and Jane are lovers. It also means they are very comfortable together. We can assume from the start bit of dialogue that they just made love. More importantly, we can imagine what they might’ve done while making love using our backgrounds. Using a reader’s imagination is much more useful than anything I can write.
I couldn’t find the murder scene among the fragments of Love and Other Disasters. The three people involved are Eli Bjerke and Vicki Bakken, and her husband Jim. A friend has told Jim that Vicki and Eli are having an affair. Jim decides to see with his own eyes if it is true. Jim tells Vicki he is going on another business trip as he often did. That evening Jim watches as Vicki takes her car and drives away. Jim knows where Eli lives and drives there to find Eli and Vicki’s cars in the driveway. This is my best reconstruction of the murder scene.
Jim got out of his car and opened the trunk. He took out the shotgun and loaded it with just three shells. That’s all he’d need. He walked up to the house, hoping the front door would be unlocked. It was. He opened it carefully and closed silently behind him. He could see the light on down the hallway, and he could hear Eli and Vicki making love. Jim stood bedroom doorway, looking at his wife beneath Eli. It angered him.
Jim said, “You sickened me.”
Vicki screamed, and Eli jumped up and tried to cover himself while looking at Jim.
The shotgun spoke death.
Vicki screamed again and got out of bed.
“How could you do this? Never mind. Your face won’t be so beautiful for your funeral,” the shotgun spoke death again.
“Hail Mary full of Grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed are thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus. Holy Mary Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death, Amen.” The shotgun spoke death a final time.
I realized that the gruesome of the scene did not have to be described in detail. I would risk losing the reader. Again, I think the reader’s imagination is more powerful than anything I could write. What do you think?
