I received a question that goes back to my postings about falling in love and how hormones and neurochemicals are responsible for that feeling. It is “How do you know it’s real and not some chemical in you?” I have been thinking about that for some time as my last posting on that topic was at the first of the month. I have sat down several times with the full intention of answering that question in a blog only to find I couldn’t. I finally realized I had not thought clearly about the question. It’s obvious that every person you meet you don’t fall in love with. It is clear that falling in love is a process that occurs over time. If it’s someone that is new to you, they may be of more interest to you that most people you meet. If you pursue that interest, you find that as you learn more about them the hormones and neurochemicals then kick in. I think you would agree that the time between those two events is highly variable.
What about someone you have known? You may never have thought about them as a romantic partner – they are in the friend zone. Suddenly something they have done or said triggers us to look at them in a different way. Although it can happen to both sexes, it’s more likely to happen to a male. If the ads I get are any sign of how often it happens to males, it must be often. From those same ads, it’s likely hard to get out of the friend zone. I won’t even attempt to tackle that topic – Grin!
It seems clear to me that prior to the feeling of falling in love aided by hormones and neurochemicals you have to get to know the other person – even if there was a feeling of instant attraction. As I said, the time between meeting someone and falling in love with them is highly variable. What has been your experience? How often did that instant attraction failed to turn into love? Or turn that question around and how often did it happen that you fell in love?
