I have been reading the spam in my emails this morning. They variously offer me the secret to getting rich or how to lose weight or how to find my dream job, but my favorites are how to attract or keep your ideal mate. I think because what I’m writing right now the last category is the one that interests me most. I get a view of both sides, male and female, in my emails and because I use “VC” in my emails it is difficult for advertisers to tell if I am male or female.
I guess I should back up here and remind you that I have been around for 78 years. The rules of dating and interactions between male and female have changed greatly over the years I’ve been alive. Up to and dating my first wife, the rules were very strict on sexual contact before marriage. However our basic drives haven’t changed, so I would get conflicting signals. A woman I was dating might say, “No no. The zipper is on the right.” All that changed by the time my first wife died. It was likely due to the arrival of the birth control pill – so-called sex without consequences. I can illustrate that change by telling you of my very first date. A friend had introduced us and we had had a chance to have a bit of a talk before I asked her out. When I was dating and I didn’t know the woman well, my preferred date was a dinner date because it gave me a chance to get to know the woman better. When I took my date home and it was time to say goodnight, I applied the old dating rules and was greeted with tears. To say that I was confused is an understatement. She invited me into her apartment after I explained that I was confused. She explained that it had become normal to have sex with someone you dated even if it was the first date. I’m not sure how long this truly freewheeling attitude continued but the time was labeled “the sexual revolution.” I suspect that it ended with the advent of AIDS.
Back to this morning’s emails – the rules on sex before marriage from what I can tell have changed once again. They are much more liberal than they were when I first started to date, but they are not as liberal as when I started dating again after my first wife’s death. One ad this morning caught my attention. It asked a great question, “Is it love or am I just horny?” The ad was directed at men. It had a couple of questions to ask yourself to get an answer, but to be truly sure it asked you to “not spend $97, but only $29” to get an e-book that would answer all your questions. Once I was out of high school, I knew when I was in love and not just horney. There was just something very different about my two wives that made it clear to me. The ad makes me wonder if it is truly that difficult today to know if you are in love. I would be very interested in your thoughts on the subject. I’m hoping that some of you will be willing to comment. If you want to remain anonymous, use a bogus email address when you use the reply form. My favorite is fake123@gmail.com.
